We’ve lost our senses when it comes to scents. Everything is so fragranced today that our olfactory factories are bewildered.

The dish soap I buy comes in an assortment of flavours – I mean fragrances. There’s apple, pomegranate, green tea and honey. I buy the blue dish soap, which for years had no fragrance whatsoever but recently has been named Refreshing Rain. Like refreshing rain excites me at the prospect of scrubbing a baking dish.

Shampoos and conditioners offer a smorgasbord of mango, avocado, coconut, apricot, black raspberry and lemon. There are also plant fragrances including peony, ginseng, sage, mint, lavender, chamomile and rosemary. Every morning we face the daunting choice of hair that smells like an herb bed or the fruit aisle at the grocery.

My laundry detergent and fabric softeners are better travelled than I am. Mountain Spring, Island Fresh, Tropical Sunrise, Thai Dragon and Hawaiian Aloha. Theoretically, and with the right combination of detergents and fabric softeners, I could travel from the Far East to the Pacific all within the delicate wash cycle.

I always thought the purpose of washing clothes was to get the fragrance out, not put more in.

The fragrance market among candles is on fire with the sweet smells of Baked Apple Pie, Pumpkin Roll, Sentimental Cider, Sticky Cinnamon Bun and Crumb Topping. When we fragrance our rooms with indulgence foods we should eat less of, doesn’t that just make us want to eat more of them?

Maybe it’s time for candles scented like celery, carrots, kale and hearts of romaine.

Perfume fragrances are as intense as ever. I was in an elevator with a woman so highly fragranced that I was crying like I was chopping onions. We were in a hospital, so she probably thought whoever I had been to visit had taken a turn for the worse.

It has been suggested that perfume bottles come with a pump mechanism that locks after three sprays. I’m for it.

Scentually creative entrepreneurs now market pumping fragrances into commercial HVAC systems to create a sensory experience for shoppers or, in the case of hotels and gyms, to simply make the air smell fresher.

Is there any place you can go that isn’t scented? I dodge clerks handing out overpowering fragrance samples in department store. Candle stores can leave you gasping for breath. Even the cleaning product aisle at the grocery is nearly asphyxiating.

On nice days, I drive with the windows down just to enjoy the smell of fresh air. I recently took my car through the car wash and smelled a fragrance of some sort during the rinse cycle.

When I dropped off some boxes at a donation centre soon after, the man who unloaded my car said, ‘Ma’am, your vehicle sure smells good.’

‘Thank you,’ I said.

At least he didn’t say it smelled like stale French fries.

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