At the start of the lockdown, we all anticipated getting cross: with our fellow lockdowners for always being in the way; with ourselves for not having got the flickering kitchen lights fixed while we still could; for having lost the Kindle lead and neglected the garden. We saw what was coming and we were mentally, if not practically, prepared. But what we had not bargained for were the things that would actually make us cross as the weeks unfolded. For example:

Buying too many carrots, so some have now gone floppy. These days, misfiring on the shopping – forgetting the butter, buying too many lemons – feels like an act of criminal negligence on a par with getting a dolphin snared in your jet ski.

Silly Man shopping. Because we’ve done it several times now – white-knuckled it to the supermarket for the big stuff; topped up at the corner shop for the rest – we know to keep it tight. We know precisely the number of bags required, which aisles to visit, and we’ve got it down to a stopwatch-timed sweep. Yet if he is the one nipping to the corner shop for milk, he will return, as sure as eggs are eggs, with: more eggs; some pale grey “reduced” chicken breasts; yogurt pots; MORE lemons. Really cross-making.

Not having our hair dyed when we could, and having resisted that temptation because we felt that was our duty as a responsible citizen; but apparently it was just us.

People talking to us on FaceTime from their garden with, behind them, an uninterrupted view of rolling hills, or their “shed/workroom”, or their badminton net.

Still not having tidied up the “office”/dump room. For 13 years we have been saying: “I would sort it out, if I had a couple of clear days. But when exactly am I going to get that? When? Huh? When?” Now the possibility that we may reach the end of lockdown without having addressed the room of shame, or the stuff under the bottom shelf in the pantry (paint, slug pellets, grout – probably a breach of health and safety) makes us cross.

People wandering around with takeaway cappuccinos. Where ARE they getting them?

People, including us, moaning about how crowded the park is; how the freezer is not big enough; how we really miss going swimming, and then saying: “But it could be a lot worse.”

Yes, it could.

The Daily Telegraph

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